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Malapropisms and Life

I have always been humored with the concept of malapropisms. Webster dictionary defines as the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar-sounding one, often with unintentionally amusing effect.

Originally, says that the word is defined and comes from an act or habit of misusing words ridiculously, especially by the confusion of words that are similar in sound. … 1826, from Mrs. Malaprop, character in Sheridan’s play “The Rivals” (1775), noted for her ridiculous misuse of large words.

So there’s that. The set-up to the blog. Here are some examples of malapropisms… because I am humored by them (your


  • Mrs. Malaprop said, “Illiterate him quite from your memory” (obliterate) and “She’s as headstrong as an allegory” (alligator)
  • Officer Dogberry said, “Our watch, sir, have indeed comprehended two auspicious persons” (apprehended two suspicious persons)
  • Rainy weather can be hard on the sciences. (sinuses)
  • Alice said she couldn’t eat crabs or any other crushed Asians. (crustaceans)
  • I have no delusions to the past. (allusions)
  • You could have knocked me over with a fender. (feather)
  • You lead the way and we’ll precede. (proceed)
  • Unfortunately, my affluence over my niece is very small. (influence)
  • A rolling stone gathers no moths. (moss)
  • Good punctuation means not to be late. (punctuality)
  • Having one wife is called monotony. (monogamy)
  • The flood damage was so bad they had to evaporate the city. (evacuate)
  • Dad says the monster is just a pigment of my imagination. (figment)
  • Everybody in the company has their own cuticle. (cubicle)
  • Tom is the very pineapple of politeness. (pinnacle)
  • I remember because I have photogenic memory. (photographic)
  • Flying saucers are just an optical conclusion. (illusion)

So here is my thought: A wonderful guiding principle in life, which is opposite of malapropism, is Say what you mean; mean what you say; and do what you say you’ll do. Don’t just talk about it… be about it. Being a straight shooter who lives up to commitments.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could still live in a world where a handshake was truly a contract. Just a thought on a Wednesday!

A final note. I’ll be out of the office for the next couple of days. So, I’ll be back on Monday all charged up! I mean it!

And our “pic o’ day”:


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